38+ Hilarious Birthday Messages to Make Your Ex Smile (or Cringe)

Birthdays are a great excuse to reach out to anyone, even your ex. Whether you want to send a smile or a little cringe, the message you choose matters.

Crafting the perfect birthday wish for an ex can be tricky — you want to be lighthearted without stirring up old drama. Sometimes humor is the best way to keep things casual.

In this list, you’ll find a mix of funny, playful, and cheeky birthday messages that will either make your ex laugh or shake their head. Ready to break the ice or simply stir the pot?

Let’s dive into 38+ hilarious birthday messages that are sure to get a reaction, no matter what kind of relationship you have now.

Playful Jabs and Friendly Roasts

Sometimes a little teasing can be the perfect way to acknowledge your ex’s birthday without getting too sentimental. These messages balance humor with a pinch of sass.

They’re ideal if you want to remind your ex you’re still around but aren’t taking things too seriously. Plus, a good roast never hurts.

If you’re aiming to keep the tone light and fun, this section is your go-to for playful birthday jabs.

1. “Happy Birthday! I was going to get you a gift, but then I remembered you already have the best present: me.” – A cheeky way to remind them of your shared past, with a wink.

2. “Congrats on another year of tolerating my nonsense. You deserve a medal.” – Perfect for poking fun at your history while keeping things light.

3. “Happy Birthday! Don’t worry, I won’t make any jokes about your age… this time.” – A subtle hint at their getting older, but all in good fun.

4. “Another year older and still no sign of maturity. Keep up the good work!” – A playful nudge about growing up, or not.

5. “I was going to send you a cake, but I figured your ego is already big enough.” – A fun jab that’s sure to get a laugh or an eye-roll.

6. “Happy Birthday! May your day be as fabulous as you pretend to be on social media.” – Perfect for calling out a little harmless pretense.

7. “Here’s to you aging like a fine wine… or at least like boxed wine.” – A funny way to toast their birthday with a little sass.

8. “Hope your birthday is as unforgettable as the reasons we broke up.” – A witty nod to the past without being bitter.

9. “Happy Birthday! May your day be less awkward than running into me unexpectedly.” – Great for a little playful tension relief.

10. “You’ve officially survived another year without me. Impressive.” – A teasing message that’s sure to make them smile.

11. “Cheers to you! May your birthday be filled with more good decisions than our relationship.” – A funny reflection on the past.

12. “Happy Birthday! I hope your day is as sweet as you pretend to be.” – A light jab with a touch of warmth.

13. “Another year, another chance to prove you’re not totally hopeless.” – A humorous way to wish them well.

14. “Happy Birthday! You’re still my favorite mistake.” – A cheeky yet affectionate message for the right tone.

15. “May your birthday be like our relationship: short, sweet, and slightly awkward.” – Perfect for making them laugh about the past.

Ready for some birthday messages that lean more into playful nostalgia? Let’s move on.

Sweet but Slightly Awkward Wishes

Sometimes you want to be kind but not overly sentimental. These messages toe the line between warmth and cringe in the best way.

They work well if you still care but want to keep things casual and fun, without jumping into mushy territory.

If you’re looking to make your ex smile and maybe blush a little, this section is perfect.

16. “Happy Birthday! Hope your day is as nice as you say you are.” – A sweet wish with a tiny hint of skepticism.

17. “Wishing you a birthday that’s almost as amazing as the times we had.” – A nostalgic nod that’s both warm and a bit awkward.

18. “Hope your birthday is filled with laughter, love, and no awkward run-ins with me.” – A lighthearted but honest wish.

19. “Happy Birthday! May your day be full of joy and only minimal regrets.” – A fun way to acknowledge the past while staying positive.

20. “Here’s to you having the best birthday, even if we won’t be celebrating together.” – A gentle reminder of distance with good vibes.

21. “Happy Birthday! May all your wishes come true (except the weird ones).” – A playful but kind message.

22. “Hope your birthday is as sweet as the memories we didn’t ruin.” – Perfect for highlighting the good moments.

23. “Wishing you happiness today, even if I’m the reason you’re not smiling yesterday.” – A little awkward but heartfelt.

24. “Happy Birthday! Let’s pretend we’re just distant friends for the day.” – A funny wish that keeps things light.

25. “May your birthday be filled with smiles, not thoughts of me.” – A cheeky message that’s also a little bittersweet.

26. “Hope your day is as bright as your questionable life choices.” – A funny but warm wish.

27. “Happy Birthday! May the year ahead bring fewer awkward moments with me.” – A self-aware message with humor.

28. “Wishing you a day full of cake and zero drama.” – Simple and sweet, with a touch of humor.

29. “Happy Birthday! I promise not to make this weird… much.” – Perfect for keeping the tone casual and fun.

30. “May your birthday be filled with everything except me.” – A funny but thoughtful way to respect boundaries.

Next up, we’ll explore some downright hilarious birthday texts that might make your ex laugh out loud (or cringe hard).

Funny Texts Guaranteed to Make Them Laugh (or Cringe)

If texting is your preferred way to send birthday wishes, these messages combine wit and humor perfectly. They’re ideal for breaking the ice.

These texts range from silly to sarcastic, ensuring your ex remembers you—whether fondly or with a smirk.

Use these if you want to be memorable without sounding too serious.

31. “Happy Birthday! I was going to send a funny meme, but then I realized I’m the funniest thing you’ll hear from today.” – A confident, humorous opener.

32. “Congrats on surviving another trip around the sun without me crashing the party.” – A cheeky way to remind them of your absence.

33. “Happy Birthday! If you need me, I’ll be pretending to care somewhere else.” – Perfect for a playful tease.

34. “Here’s to you aging like a pro… or at least like a decent amateur.” – A funny compliment with a twist.

35. “Hope your birthday is more fun than our last date… and less awkward.” – A humorous way to acknowledge the past.

36. “Happy Birthday! May your day be full of cake and fewer bad decisions.” – A lighthearted wish with a reality check.

37. “Sending you birthday vibes and zero commitment.” – Great for keeping things casual.

38. “Happy Birthday! May your social media notifications outnumber your regrets.” – A witty modern twist.

39. “Congrats! You’re one year closer to being the person you pretend to be.” – A funny nudge at authenticity.

40. “Hope your day is as fabulous as your filter game.” – A playful comment on social media habits.

41. “Happy Birthday! Don’t party too hard — I’m still your emergency contact.” – A funny reminder of your ongoing connection.

42. “May your birthday be as awkward as our goodbyes.” – A humorous nod to past moments.

43. “Hope your birthday is full of surprises, none of which involve me.” – A cheeky way to maintain boundaries.

44. “Happy Birthday! If you think about me today, make sure it’s for a good reason.” – A gentle tease with warmth.

45. “Wishing you a day so good, it distracts you from missing me.” – A sweet but playful message.

Ready to try some sarcastic and savage messages? They’re perfect if you want to keep things spicy.

Sarcastic and Savage Birthday Messages

For those who prefer their humor with a sharper edge, these messages deliver witty sarcasm and playful shade. They’re not for the faint of heart.

These are great if your relationship ended on a less-than-sweet note but you still want to acknowledge their birthday.

Use these carefully—they’re hilarious but definitely have bite.

46. “Happy Birthday! I’d say you get better with age, but I can’t lie that well.” – A sarcastic comment wrapped in humor.

47. “Congrats on being born. That’s the only thing you did right.” – A savage way to mark the day.

48. “Another year closer to becoming the person you wish you were.” – Sarcastic but insightful.

49. “Happy Birthday! I’d send you a nasty text, but I’m feeling generous today.” – A playful threat disguised as kindness.

50. “Hope your day is as forgettable as you.” – A savage but funny jab.

51. “May your birthday be as exciting as your personality.” – Sarcasm with a punch.

52. “Happy Birthday! I’d say ‘don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,’ but that leaves you a lot of options.” – A cheeky sarcastic wish.

53. “Congrats on surviving another year of bad decisions.” – A humorous roast.

54. “Hope your birthday is less disappointing than you are.” – A sharp but witty message.

55. “Happy Birthday! You’re proof that evolution can go backwards.” – A savage but funny dig.

56. “May your day be filled with love and fewer bad texts.” – Sarcastic with a hint of truth.

57. “Happy Birthday! You’re aging like a fine dumpster fire.” – A savage compliment.

58. “Hope your birthday is more successful than your relationships.” – A witty roast.

59. “Happy Birthday! May your day be as tolerable as I was.” – Sarcasm with a little sentiment.

60. “Another year older and still the same hot mess.” – A savage but affectionate message.

Next, we’re switching gears to some nostalgic and heartfelt messages that strike a softer tone.

Nostalgic and Heartfelt Birthday Messages

Sometimes, despite everything, you want to acknowledge the good times and the bond you once shared. These messages do just that.

They’re perfect if you want to be sincere without diving into heavy emotions. A little warmth goes a long way.

If you’re hoping to remind your ex of the positive memories, these wishes are the way to go.

61. “Happy Birthday! Thinking of the good times we shared and hoping your day is just as special.” – A gentle and kind message.

62. “Wishing you happiness today, just like we used to wish each other.” – A nostalgic nod to mutual care.

63. “Hope your birthday reminds you of all the smiles we created together.” – Warm and reminiscent.

64. “Happy Birthday! No matter where life takes us, I’m grateful for our story.” – A heartfelt acknowledgment.

65. “Wishing you a day filled with love and the memories that made us smile.” – Tender and sincere.

66. “Happy Birthday! May this year bring you the peace and happiness you deserve.” – A kind and hopeful message.

67. “Thinking of you today and all the moments that shaped us.” – Nostalgic with warmth.

68. “Happy Birthday! Here’s to the past, the present, and whatever comes next.” – Open and thoughtful.

69. “Wishing you joy today and always, from someone who once cared deeply.” – Gentle and sincere.

70. “Hope your day is as beautiful as the memories we made.” – Tender and sweet.

71. “Happy Birthday! You taught me a lot, and I hope life teaches you even more.” – Reflective and warm.

72. “Wishing you all the best today and in the years ahead.” – Simple, kind, and heartfelt.

73. “Happy Birthday! May your future be as bright as the times we shared.” – Optimistic and nostalgic.

74. “Thinking of you on your special day and wishing you well.” – Polite and warm.

75. “Happy Birthday! No matter what, I hope you find happiness.” – Honest and kind.

Now, let’s lighten the mood again with some humorous quotes and sayings perfect for birthday cards or texts.

Funny Quotes and Sayings for Birthday Cards

Quotes and sayings can add a clever twist to your birthday wishes, especially when you want to mix humor and wit.

These selections are versatile for cards, texts, or social media posts, giving you a fun way to say “Happy Birthday.”

Perfect if you want your message to be memorable and shareable.

76. “Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. Cheers!” – A lighthearted spin on aging.

77. “You’re not old, you’re just chronologically gifted.” – A humorous compliment.

78. “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” – A classic funny saying.

79. “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” – Perfect for a playful birthday card.

80. “Another year older, but definitely not wiser.” – A cheeky observation.

81. “It’s your birthday! Time to celebrate like you’re still young enough to do crazy stuff.” – Encouraging fun and youthfulness.

82. “You don’t look a day over fabulous.” – A flattering and funny compliment.

83. “Happy Birthday! Don’t think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.” – A clever way to embrace aging.

84. “Age is just a number, but cake is a necessity.” – A sweet and funny saying.

85. “Some people get wiser with age; you’re just lucky to get older.” – A playful roast.

86. “Happy Birthday! You’re one year closer to free bus rides and early bird specials.” – A humorous look ahead.

87. “The secret to staying young is lying about your age.” – A funny and relatable quote.

88. “Today, you’re officially vintage.” – A clever way to say “old but valuable.”

89. “Another year, another reason to party like it’s 1999.” – Encourages a fun celebration.

90. “Happy Birthday! May your day be filled with laughter, love, and lots of cake.” – A classic, cheerful wish.

Whether you want to be funny, sweet, or a bit cheeky, these quotes add flair to your birthday message.

Birthdays with exes don’t have to be awkward or serious. Whether you want to make them grin or groan, these messages have you covered. Pick one that suits your vibe, and remember, a little humor can go a long way.

So, what’s your favorite type of birthday message to send to an ex? Share your stories or try these out — you might just make their day brighter (or at least more interesting).